I loved the game Candy Land when I was a kid. I loved the colorful board, the Rainbow Trail, the dreams of a peppermint forest, a lollypop land, a chocolate swamp…in fact, the only thing I loved more than playing Candy Land was winning Candy Land. There’s not a lot of strategy that goes on in the game. You basically just draw cards and move your game piece based on the color on the card you selected which means that the only way you can actually maintain any really interesting elements over the long term is to cheat at Candy Land.
I have a younger brother. He’s 23 and I’m 26. I should be really ashamed of what I’m about to tell you. Actually, I was really ashamed of what I’m about to tell you, but then I told my brother this same story and I think once he got over the initial period of devastation he had a good laugh about it.
When he was 4 and I was 6 Candy Land was starting to get a little uneventful. I figured out that if you place the Queen Frostine card not at the top of the stack, but the second card down and then let your younger, sweet, and unassuming brother go first, then you look like a good sister for letting him go first, and then 9 times out of 10 you’ll win the game. I don’t know how many times I actually pulled this scheme off. I did it enough times that I remember it well. (Sorry Tony!)
On Saturday, my step-daughter and I played a round of Memory. She’s 5 and she’s getting better at the game, but she’s in that phase where she doesn’t like it if you are giving her the answers, so you can’t do that, but if you let her win on her own merits it takes a Monopoly length of time to play Memory. So, I beat her at memory, with the understanding that we’d be playing Candy Land next and hopefully she’d win that.
So, we started Candy Land. It was exciting—I hadn’t played in years and I felt my well honed, but rusty skills coming back. I hadn’t planned on cheating…but then it happened. Twenty years later I cheated at Candy Land again. Okay, calm down everybody. You know I’m a bigger person than that. So, yes, I did cheat, but here’s how it went down. We were playing and everything was going along just fine. It was my turn. I drew the pink card with the sparkling ice cream cone on it—Queen Frostine!!!! I, almost without thought, moved my game piece to where my mind knew Queen Frostine’s land lie on the board. I was then taken by shock when I saw the words “Princess Frostine”. What??!! Why would the makers of this most time honored, beloved game change the name of our great candy queen? I still haven’t fully recovered from the disappointment and shock, but I pulled myself together enough to re-focus on the game at hand. It was at this moment that I realized I had much bigger problems than the renaming of a practically religious icon. I was going to beat my step daughter at game number 2 for the day. This couldn’t happen. She was supposed to win Candy Land. Crap…what could I do? I panicked as I took my next turn…the double red. This was seriously bad news. A double red meant that I would be too close to the end! I’d only have two, maybe three more turns to somehow get my stepdaughter from the Gumdrop Mountains to King Candy before I did. So, I reverted to the only real Candy Land skill I have. I cheated. Ali had looked away as I drew my double red…so I drew again. This time a yellow. Whew…that I could deal with. So, the game went on and fortunately, as a result of my cheating, I then proceeded to also draw the Peppermint Forest and then my troubles were over.
Yes world—I lost at Candy Land.
It was a great moment for me as I realized that, even taking into account all of the dumb things I do on a regular basis, and contrary to many people’s beliefs, I’ve actually grown up a little bit.
I have a younger brother. He’s 23 and I’m 26. I should be really ashamed of what I’m about to tell you. Actually, I was really ashamed of what I’m about to tell you, but then I told my brother this same story and I think once he got over the initial period of devastation he had a good laugh about it.
When he was 4 and I was 6 Candy Land was starting to get a little uneventful. I figured out that if you place the Queen Frostine card not at the top of the stack, but the second card down and then let your younger, sweet, and unassuming brother go first, then you look like a good sister for letting him go first, and then 9 times out of 10 you’ll win the game. I don’t know how many times I actually pulled this scheme off. I did it enough times that I remember it well. (Sorry Tony!)
On Saturday, my step-daughter and I played a round of Memory. She’s 5 and she’s getting better at the game, but she’s in that phase where she doesn’t like it if you are giving her the answers, so you can’t do that, but if you let her win on her own merits it takes a Monopoly length of time to play Memory. So, I beat her at memory, with the understanding that we’d be playing Candy Land next and hopefully she’d win that.
So, we started Candy Land. It was exciting—I hadn’t played in years and I felt my well honed, but rusty skills coming back. I hadn’t planned on cheating…but then it happened. Twenty years later I cheated at Candy Land again. Okay, calm down everybody. You know I’m a bigger person than that. So, yes, I did cheat, but here’s how it went down. We were playing and everything was going along just fine. It was my turn. I drew the pink card with the sparkling ice cream cone on it—Queen Frostine!!!! I, almost without thought, moved my game piece to where my mind knew Queen Frostine’s land lie on the board. I was then taken by shock when I saw the words “Princess Frostine”. What??!! Why would the makers of this most time honored, beloved game change the name of our great candy queen? I still haven’t fully recovered from the disappointment and shock, but I pulled myself together enough to re-focus on the game at hand. It was at this moment that I realized I had much bigger problems than the renaming of a practically religious icon. I was going to beat my step daughter at game number 2 for the day. This couldn’t happen. She was supposed to win Candy Land. Crap…what could I do? I panicked as I took my next turn…the double red. This was seriously bad news. A double red meant that I would be too close to the end! I’d only have two, maybe three more turns to somehow get my stepdaughter from the Gumdrop Mountains to King Candy before I did. So, I reverted to the only real Candy Land skill I have. I cheated. Ali had looked away as I drew my double red…so I drew again. This time a yellow. Whew…that I could deal with. So, the game went on and fortunately, as a result of my cheating, I then proceeded to also draw the Peppermint Forest and then my troubles were over.
Yes world—I lost at Candy Land.
It was a great moment for me as I realized that, even taking into account all of the dumb things I do on a regular basis, and contrary to many people’s beliefs, I’ve actually grown up a little bit.
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