Wedding Present

Shopping for wedding presents is always a complete pain in the ass, right? You get the cute little scrapbooked invitation in the mail with pictures of the happy couple and the card that says "so and so is registered at Target, Wal-Mart, Macys, McDonalds, US Bank..." It is amazing the things people come up with.

You go to the store with high hopes of finding that perfect present for your friend/relative but your hopes are immediately dashed as you print the registry and find 75 common kitchen utensils (so boring), towels that the store doesn't stock, sheets that are too expensive, and "decorative" pillows in colors that are so blase, and depressing you wonder if your friendship with the bride and groom should continue...maybe you've grown apart; otherwise, you would have protected them from picking lime green sheets to go along with apricot pillowcases.

I know you are with me so far...now, try this on for size. Imagine shopping for a wedding gift for your ex-husband and his new fiancee--who also happens to be your husband's ex-wife (yes, you heard me right--wife swap).

We were given a wedding invitation--because my husband wanted to see it--with explicit instructions that we are not actually invited. The new wife and I are not on speaking terms (use your imagination), so I had my husband call her to ask--"if we get you a wedding present will you throw it away, or actually use it? We don't want to waste our money". She promised to keep the present, so off I went to Target to find a gift.

After scouring the store for something under the following criterion 1) on the list, 2) under $50, 3)actually in the store, and 4) not ugly or useless, I wound up with a $30 shower curtain. (Insert big exasperated sigh.) The search continued for a $20 supplement.

I hate scrapbooking. Partially because I'm not that patient and find it to be a waste of time, and partially because my husband's ex-wife loves it. I do, however love to look at all of the little stickers and brads and markers and paper that I could spend hundreds of dollars on and organize them in little bins in my office and just let them sit...for years, and years. Yes, I did it--I bought scrapbooking supplies for the newlyweds. I thought it would be cute--you know, so they can scrapbook their honeymoon.

My husband will deliver the gift tonight when he goes to pick up the kids. We'll see what happens. He just might wind up returning home with the new stickers, decorations, and paper for me to uselessly organize in my sewing room.