We'll be in SO much trouble!

I got a new cat yesterday. To those of you who know me this will come as an utter and complete shock. No, I’ve never liked cats much, but here’s the deal. Craig is gone a lot right now. He’s super busy and I thought it would be fun to have someone to hang out with. I LOVE dogs, but they are so high maintenance. Basically I need someone to chill with when Craig is gone and someone who can be completely abandoned when Craig is home. Child? No. Friend? No. Dog? No. Basically I’m left with either a cat or a person who is not my friend but whom I pay to hang out with me at night. Humane Society—here we come!
So, Craig and I headed over to the Humane Society and found my new buddy who we’ve bizarrely named “Couch Kitty”. The explanation is long enough to warrant its own post. So, I don’t have a real picture of her yet, but here’s the picture from the Humane Society’s website.
(At this point I’m going to launch into a completely different topic, so humor me and be sure to note the caption on the photo.)

We are going to be in so much trouble when she turns 16

It is a proven fact that parents think their kids are the cutest kids on God’s green (well, technically blue, green, brown, red) earth. The thing that boggles my mind about this is that they notice this folly in other parents, but are completely oblivious to it in themselves. I spent some time yesterday morning looking at several blogs belonging to mothers who all think that their children are the cutest out there.

One thing that absolutely makes my skin crawl, my blood boil, my vomit rise, is when mothers post pictures with the caption “we are going to be in so much trouble when she turns 16”. Okay, so stick with me for a second while I walk you through the two disgusting things about this caption.

Most girls look like their moms, right? So, basically what a mom is saying in a round about way is: you know how you just said how much she looks like me? Well, think about how hot I am and how much guys want me and yep, guys are going to want her too. So, problem #1 with this caption? Mom is conceited.

Next problem. Kids don’t think much about their sex appeal when they are still pre-school aged, so really, why are their parents? It is SO—creepy childhood beauty queen—to post these photos on the internet of their kid dressed up with jewelry, makeup and hair done. There’s problem #2—mom is making suggestions about her 4 year old daughter’s sexuality.

Alright, this post could be taken pretty seriously, so don’t freak out on me—if you’ve ever scrolled to the bottom of my page you’ve seen my favorite quote which is “Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.” I know I don’t know what I’m talking about since I’m not a mother. I don’t have kids so, no, I’m not capable of understanding your logic. People are constantly imparting that bit of wisdom upon me!

So, as for me, I’m sticking with Couch Kitty. She’s spayed, and I’m pretty sure she’s not a virgin, so I don’t think I have to worry much about the boy cats down the street wanting to hook up with her. Oh, and for the record, she’s the cutest kitty on God’s green earth.