My Most Shallow Post Ever

Craig and I each have a list of five celebrities who, if they…you know—offered themselves to us, we are allowed to accept said offer. (I do realize that this would ever happen. I’m also aware that most of these people have STDs, and that’s really not the point. Just don’t take this post too seriously, okay?)

We re-evaluate our lists about once every six months or so, when we are bored or are stuck in traffic. I don’t know whether it needs explaining, but men look for something different than women do. I asked Craig this morning whether he had any reasons for his top 5 choices other than that they are hot. He said "no...you have reasons for yours, don't you, like--"I like #3 because he is so talented and when he was only 15 years old he dedicated him to helping locusts in Florida". Well, Craig, you were spot on (mostly). Here are our current top 5s with accompanying explanations:

Craig's top 5:

#1 Angelina Jolie : because she’s hot

#2 Jennifer Aniston : because she’s hot

#3 Leryn Franco : because she’s hot

#4 Paris Hilton : because she looks trashy

#5 Amanda Bynes : because she’s hot

Maryn's top 5 :

#1 Rivers Cuomo: Musician with degree from Harvard, so he’s got to have some kind of brain…and because he’s hot.

#2 Billy Corgan: Amazing musician and something draws me to his creepy mysterious side.

#3 Brad Pitt: okay, well, he’s just hot

#4 Anthony Keidis: I saw him in concert and he is a fantastic performer. His music is incredible and he’s had a tumultuous life…I guess it is the nurturer in me. Plus he has nice arms. (The Hep C is definitely an obstacle…)

#5 Wayne Brady: Saw him in Vegas. He is freaking hilarious…and has nice arms.

Having said all of this, I do want to be clear that I am not criticizing men for the way by which they choose women. I love this about men. They are easy to figure out (at least most of the time), and for this I am glad.